Love your kids (it isn't just a Mom thing)

(This originally appeared this week in the Outer Banks Sentinel.)

What seems like a lifetime ago I was working on the construction of the Nags Head Inn. Somehow the conversation came up about fathers loving their children. I was at the time a young father with three small children at home, so I listened in on the talk among the men. What I heard one man say totally took me by surprise. He was an “older” man, probably in his 50’s, and said he didn’t love his children. He liked them, but didn’t love them. In fact, the idea of a father loving his children seemed like a new concept to him.

As I tried to figure out why any father would deny loving his children, it occurred to me that perhaps this fellow’s definition of “love” was rather short-sighted. My guess was that “love” in his understanding was something reserved for a man and a woman, not for a man and his children.

How sad! I’ll bet he loved his children. He just didn’t know that’s what love meant. But what does it mean for a father to love his children?

I asked my church to give their thoughts on their own dads. I cloaked it in the phrase, “My dad rocks because...” And in the responses, I came up with five aspects of fatherly love.

Fatherly love is sacrificial. “My dad rocks because he puts his kids first!” “My dad rocks because he is always self-sacrificing for the family. He is always willing to serve us. He has a steady quiet spirit that I have grown to appreciate.”

Fatherly love is disciplinary. “My dad was a strict disciplinarian when I was growing up. He did what was best for the family, even if we didn't see it at the time.”

Fatherly love listens. “My father was my very best friend; I could talk to him about anything.”

Fatherly love is shown in actions. “Because my Daddy gives me hugs and kisses, tells me he loves me, picks me up from preschool and takes me for rides on the lawnmower.” One mother wrote, “My children's father rocks because he is very supportive of his children and he has the best hugs.”

Fatherly love is unconditional. “My dad never failed to love me even when I was wild and rebellious his love was constant.” “He was the most kind and compassionate man I have ever known.” “My Dad was there to listen, encourage and correct with unconditional love. He was my example; I always wanted to be like him.”

Our great example as fathers is, of course, the love our Heavenly Father shows to us. And in a story Jesus told, the father of the prodigal son exemplified God’s love, even to a wayward son.

The expression “just like mother’s love” carries a very wonderful meaning. And without her love what would childhood be? Yet a father who loves his children and is unashamed to do so can have just as great, if not greater impact on a child’s life.

So as we approach Father’s Day, perhaps we dads can do a bit of self-evaluation and ask ourselves about the quantity and the quality of our love for the children God has placed in our quivers as arrows. Sacrifice. Discipline. Listening. Actions, not just words. And without condition. Love your children.

Rick Lawrenson is the Lead Pastor of Nags Head Church
© 2008 Rick Lawrenson