Pearl Harbor Day

70 years ago the United States was attacked by the Japanese at Pearl Harbor. It is an event our nation should always remember. What happened on this day propelled our country into World War II, forever changing everything.

Few of the US military survivors are still with us.

So, pause for a moment today and remember. Take a few minutes and tell the story to your children old enough to grasp its significance.

Parenting by Proxy

Billy Ray Cyrus is an example of parenting by proxy. God gave your kids to you to instill within them (by your example) values that will take them through life. He did not give that responsibility to a ball coach, a dance instructor, the school system, day care or even a church youth pastor. It's not Disney's fault. The buck stops with parents. It doesn't take a village - too many idiots there. It takes parents. Parenting by proxy doesn't work.

Character counts in parenting probably more than any other facet of life, because it requires you to make the toughest of decisions, including having to say "No" when your begged by someone you love and don't want to lose to say "Yes". But hopefully parents have garnered wisdom from their life experiences to know what is good and what is not for their kids. They (kids) don't understand that - they don't yet have those life experiences. So they pout, argue, threaten, call you the worst names imaginable.

The time to establish those values and boundaries is not when they are old enough to start challenging them. So if you are parents of young children or not even a parent yet, now is the time to put those values down. Write them out. Hold yourself accountable. Be a team with your spouse - your values need to be the same or your kids will know how to team up with one of you against the other.

I'm no expert, but I am a parent who has survived rearing three children. How do you think I got this gray hair! I also learned young from those who had walked the path before me. Listen to your elders, parents. Gain wisdom from God and His Word. Surround yourself with other parents who have similar values and determine that you will be whatever it takes to love and protect the lives entrusted to you.

There are no second chances. Some things you can't control. But the things you can, you better. Wishing "Hannah Montana" never happened is a cop out.


And your heart will be achy breaky.

Byproducts

One student to an eighth grader: “Are you Italian?” (Her last name makes no doubt about her Italian heritage. I point out her grade to show she’s not in kindergarten.) “No. What’s [Italian]?”

I spent two days substitute teaching at the local Alternative High School last week. All the students are considered highly “at-risk”. They’ve either failed academically or socially in the “normal” schools, and the alternative school is the last hope to keep them in school and work toward a diploma.

As I observed their behavior these two days I couldn’t help but wonder how they arrived here. Where are their parents? For most, the answer is they’re at home. But what broke down, or perhaps better when did the break down occur in their culture resulting in the byproduct before me?

Some of these kids, I’m told, are in abusive homes. Most, I suspect, are in negligent homes at best, which is another form of abuse. Some have criminal records. And now here they are - adolescents with little hope of lasting in the real world that is rapidly spinning their way. Most will wind up being supported by “the system”. (Our tax dollars at work.)

I see the problem. The question that disturbs me is “Is there anything I can do to stem this tide; to make a difference?” Probably not for these kids. Pessimistic but realistic. The faculty and administration here are trying hard, but it doesn’t take long to read the futility in their eyes and voices. Banging your head against a wall can do that. But I can try.

But what about the kids coming up behind them – the ones in pre-school and elementary school who are still moldable? Is the long range solution to focus on the kids or on the parents who produce them?

Wait a second. These kids will be the next generation of parents. Some already are.

“What grade did you fail?” “A bunch of them. Second grade, third grade, tenth grade…I can’t help it.”

If I didn’t believe in miracles I’d be really depressed right now.

Wanna meet an incredible family?

Don and Agnes are Tricia's parents. Nathan's in-laws. They're heroes of mine for many reasons. Perfect? No. (Their imperfections come out loud and clear when engaged in a game with the Lawrensons.) But way above average? Most definitely, yes.

Their third child, Megan, (3rd out of 6, and the second 3 were adopted) gives a great glimpse in her blog into what it was like to grow up in their home - a home intentionally built upon solid values. . And the end result? Just read it here.

We're blessed to have Don and Agnes in our congregation. Whether they like it or not, they're role models for our rapidly growing church of young families. ou young parents would do well to pick their brains, but more importantly dissect their hearts.

Oh yeah, and Don's a PK, too. That makes it even more amazing.