Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Parenting by Proxy

Billy Ray Cyrus is an example of parenting by proxy. God gave your kids to you to instill within them (by your example) values that will take them through life. He did not give that responsibility to a ball coach, a dance instructor, the school system, day care or even a church youth pastor. It's not Disney's fault. The buck stops with parents. It doesn't take a village - too many idiots there. It takes parents. Parenting by proxy doesn't work.

Character counts in parenting probably more than any other facet of life, because it requires you to make the toughest of decisions, including having to say "No" when your begged by someone you love and don't want to lose to say "Yes". But hopefully parents have garnered wisdom from their life experiences to know what is good and what is not for their kids. They (kids) don't understand that - they don't yet have those life experiences. So they pout, argue, threaten, call you the worst names imaginable.

The time to establish those values and boundaries is not when they are old enough to start challenging them. So if you are parents of young children or not even a parent yet, now is the time to put those values down. Write them out. Hold yourself accountable. Be a team with your spouse - your values need to be the same or your kids will know how to team up with one of you against the other.

I'm no expert, but I am a parent who has survived rearing three children. How do you think I got this gray hair! I also learned young from those who had walked the path before me. Listen to your elders, parents. Gain wisdom from God and His Word. Surround yourself with other parents who have similar values and determine that you will be whatever it takes to love and protect the lives entrusted to you.

There are no second chances. Some things you can't control. But the things you can, you better. Wishing "Hannah Montana" never happened is a cop out.

And your heart will be achy breaky.


Dawn Wilson said...

May I quote from your blog in my monthly newsletter, "Choices"? This is great, Rick. You made it clear that parents need to make the choice to parent their own kids!

Rick Lawrenson said...

Certainly, Dawn.

Agnes said...

Glad you reared them as opposed to raised them.Also glad none of our 6 gave me gray hair.