Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Open season on marriages

I'm blown away by what seems to be a rash of marriages crumbling around me. What's happening in the lives of South Carolina's governor and First Lady, even Jon and Kate seems to be part of an epidemic, especially among Christian couples. What gives?

This sounds so simple, but I can't overstate that you can't be too careful. Here are a few things to be careful about:

Friendships have to have proper boundaries.
Your spouse should have a key to every door in your life and permission to look inside at any time.
Work doesn't come first. Neither do your kids. God first. Spouse second. Then kids.
Have someone in your life who can ask you the tough questions and hold you accountable.
Finances and the stress they bring need to bring you together as a team, not divide you.
Don't wait until it's "too late" to seek help. Do you want to have a healthy marriage or keep your pride intact?

I'm aching inside for some couples I know, and praying for them to let God heal their fractured relationships. He can.


Ann said...

My husband and I had a very honest conversation about marriage and divorce Tuesday. Just because you say I'm Christian and divorce isn't an option doesn't mean that your marriage is divorce proof. Words are empty action must be taken. You have to divorce proof your marriage. Be honest, treat each other with love and respect, resolve conflict, guard your heart. The enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy and if you leave any doors, windows, or cracks open in your marriage the enemy will find a way to use them. Kids, friends, work, whatever are not more important than God and your spouse.


Ann said...

BTW great post, well stated. Sorry got on my soap box...

Rick Lawrenson said...

Good words from your soap box.

Barbara Kay said...

Marriage without commitment isn't strong enough to survive today's world. Loving the "idea" of marriage just doesn't cut it. Being in a marriage that is in God's will and with Christ as the center is the only hope for a lasting marriage filled with joy...and the strength to make it through the trials that are a part of life. said...

I know the guy was just rambling at the news conference (I saw clips, but read a more extensive account), but, still, you wonder if he gets it. He said, "I hurt her. I hurt you all. I hurt my wife. I hurt my boys..." I understand that he was all over the map in his verbal meanderings, but I think the one that was probably the most hurt was his poor wife.

And, I totally agree w/what you said, Rick (for a change! I'm kidding--I've known Rick since high school, so please, no going sideways on me).

It is a sobering reminder that marriage is fragile (in terms of outside sources being able to destroy it, and that we're sinners married to sinners), and must be protected w/a vengeance.

This isn't to pile on to Sanford, but I was thinking about a verse in Proverbs this morning, but saw another one that is perhaps more fitting. It should serve as a somber warning to all of us who are married, and, in particular, all of us who are believers.

"He who commits adultery lacks sense;
he who does it destroys himself."
Proverbs 6:32

In the end, though, praise God, there is STILL redemption and forgiveness.


Debs said...

I am a citizen of SC and have been a long time fan of Governor Sanford. I admired and respected him 'because of' his pro family lifestyle. I have watched him pull his little boys in a large red wagon at parades.
I was shocked yesterday, then very sad. I am even sad for him because I really do not think he had a clue that he could do this to his family. And his words show that he is still struggling in the grip of Satans's lies.

This is a real life lesson that none of us are exempt from temptation if we are not always cloaked in the full armor of God and ready to do battle.

Bob said...

I often wonder if the church needs to be a lot more intentional about helping people form deep, open relationships. Too many people (myself included) have many casual acquaintances but few or no one who can ask us the hard questions, offer real encouragment, and speak truth into our lives.

I'm told the church of old would have the elder generation discipling the next. Sort of an ongoing "precana." So what do you do when the elder generation is no more mature than a 20 year old?

ZazFamily said...

it is very disheartening, when this happens to good friends, close friends and acquaintences. accountability is huge, and i do agree that we should do all we can to put God first, our spouse second, and children third.