Color me pink (on Thursday)

Normally you wouldn't catch me saying that or anything like it. But today is different.

Earlier I posted about Haley Palmer's death at age 12 from complications related to Cystic Fibrosis. Her story was one of courage and faith, and her life touched so many.

Her parents have asked that those attending her memorial celebration Thursday morning in Oklahoma to wear Haley's favorite color. What little girl doesn't love pink? I can't be there, and probably neither can you. But I can join in by wearing pink.

It's the least I can do.

So you'll find me today wearing the pink shirt picked out and given to me by my wife and daughter. They say it looks good on me. It last saw the light of day on Mothers Day. I prefer any other color. But today it's not about me.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

June 18, 1977.

Happy anniversary Gail! You are the love of my life.

We were married in Gail's home church in Chesapeake, VA about a month after graduating from college. After a week long honeymoon we drove cross country to Southern California and the adventure began. Somehow we managed to get the top layer of our cake across country and into a freezer. It was consumed on our first anniversary 30 years ago this date.

Notes to our children:

No, the hair coloring wasn't touched up for the photo. I attribute my new natural highlights to having had three teenagers in the house at once. Somehow your mom has avoided turning gray.

Yes, that tux was very stylish at the time. Your mother chose the color ("to go with your eyes"). Go ahead and laugh. One day your kids will be blowing milk out of their noses while looking at your wedding photos.

Your mom and I saw Star Wars, the surprise hit movie of the summer in 1977, for the first time at the same location where you saw Lord of the Rings for the first time in 2001. How's that for some trivia?

We existed our first year together without a TV. Heck, we didn't have a PC until 15 years later. Telephones were connected by wires to a box in the wall.

And for the rest of you, I know what you're thinking as you look at that picture. So here's the answer: I got lucky.

I now pronounce you...

In August I'll have the joy of officiating the wedding of a couple in California. Just so there's no confusion, they're a traditional couple - man and woman.

Today in California same sex weddings became legal. In preparation for this monumental change the state changed their wedding license wording from using the traditional "bride/groom" or "husband/wife" to "Party A/Party B".

So when I announce that Laura and Mario are wed, do I pronounce them husband and wife or Party A and Party B? I mean, I want it to be legal, you know. What's the official California pronouncement? Somebody help me.

How big is your picture?

Human nature is finite as is our natural comprehension of life and all that goes with it. When life throws us curves it is our natural tendency to react with anxiety and fear. That's normal.

This morning I'll sit at a table and peer out over the Atlantic Ocean. A relatively few miles away will be the extent of my ability to see. The horizon in my sight is the limit. But I know that the ocean goes much farther to my east - all the way to other lands in Europe and Africa. I just can't see them. It was that limited vision that brought our forefathers to the conclusion that the earth was flat, and that if you ever hit that edge of the world you would fall off.

How silly is that theory to us today? But it was a real, natural conclusion because of their limited sight and experience. Then one day a "new world" was discovered and the fear of falling from a flat earth was vanquished by new vision and the experience of standing on a previously unseen soil.

How is it that Nathan and Tricia can hear the words "cancer" and "lymphoma" and not have their spirits plummet into angst? When people ask me and I tell them and then say, "But this is just a bump in their road", they look at me like I'm nuts. It's the "C word for Pete's sake!".

That depends on the size of your picture; on whether or not you think the boundaries of your ability to see are the edge of your world or that there are new worlds to discover. Tricia and Nathan's picture has been greatly enlarged by two factors: faith and experience. They've gone over the horizon more than once, trusting in Someone whose vision is infinite to lead them. And they've discovered that however fearful that next step may be, there is a new world beyond what they can see.

Don't let the horizons in your sight fool you. Hoist the sails, take the risks and turn over the wheel to the Pilot who sees eternally.

The picture is bigger than you think.

Is your church "unusual"?

Just got off the phone with a lady from out of town calling to find out our Sunday times for worship. That's not unusual. Being in a resort community means we get lots of out of town guests every week.

"What time is your Sunday morning service?"
"We have two: 9 and 11:00."

"Are you a relatively large church?"
"Relatively large is a relative term!"
"How many attend a service?"
"Between 2 and 3 hundred." (To some that's big. To other's that's tiny.)

"Are you having a Bible school this summer?"
"No."

"What time is your Sunday evening service?"
"We don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
"No, ma'am."

"How about a midweek service?"
"We don't have one of those either."

She was struggling with the curveballs I had just thrown her way.

"That's unusual for a Baptist church. I would have expected it from a (another denomination judged by some as being full of lifeless churches) church."
"We're an 'unusual' Baptist church!"

You know what she was implying? Me, too. People and their stereotypes. Does the number of times a church has some kind of "service" necessarily indicate the depth or breadth of their ministry?

I think I'd rather our church be "unusual". It seems to be working wonders in peoples' lives here.

Oh, yeah. She said, "I'll see you Sunday." Why am I skeptical about that?

Sunday Flashback

Father's Day!

It's important to our vision and purpose at NHC to build up godly men. So today's message was a challenge to dads to be men who emulate the heavenly Father.

After two Sundays of an A/C unit malfunctioning our Kidmo room was plenty cool today. Let's hope the problem is fixed.

We added another row of chairs up front today and will keep it there for the summer. Unlike most locales, we grow in attendance during the summer months with vacationers. And they're such an appreciative crowd. I have to admit that I'm impressed with people who will seek out a church while away on vacation. That first visit to an unknown church has to be a gamble. So I tip my hat to them. And for us it's usually between 100 and 200 every Sunday!

Here's the outline of the message, "How to Be a Dad Who Rocks"

• Give your children your time
• Teach your children how to deal with life
• Be unashamedly Christian through and through
• Model patience before your kids
• Love your children (it isn't just for moms)

The audio should be up on our podcast soon.

We welcomed 7 new partners to our fellowship today. Great to have you Chad, Jodi, Steve, Brenda, Cathy, Tina and Kit!

And I'm so thankful and proud of Mike, Barbara, Elaine, Ellen, Brenda, Greg and Cathy for giving your time to serve the firefighters at the Evans Road wildfire. They worked with NC Baptist Men's Disaster Relief team providing clean shower facilities, meals, laundry and whatever needed to be done. If I can manage it, I may slip off for a 24 hour shift later this week with a crew from Nags Head Fire and Rescue.

Tomorrow our youth leave for Student Life Camp at Wake Forest University. Student Life must be the premier youth camps across the nation. We'll be able to watch the Tues - Thurs night worship times live. Go to obxstudents.com for the links.

Next Sunday we get back to the series "What If?" and "What If I Really Knew God?". There are also some parent/child dedications planned, including one I'm especially thankful for.

Love your kids (it isn't just a Mom thing)

(This originally appeared this week in the Outer Banks Sentinel.)

What seems like a lifetime ago I was working on the construction of the Nags Head Inn. Somehow the conversation came up about fathers loving their children. I was at the time a young father with three small children at home, so I listened in on the talk among the men. What I heard one man say totally took me by surprise. He was an “older” man, probably in his 50’s, and said he didn’t love his children. He liked them, but didn’t love them. In fact, the idea of a father loving his children seemed like a new concept to him.

As I tried to figure out why any father would deny loving his children, it occurred to me that perhaps this fellow’s definition of “love” was rather short-sighted. My guess was that “love” in his understanding was something reserved for a man and a woman, not for a man and his children.

How sad! I’ll bet he loved his children. He just didn’t know that’s what love meant. But what does it mean for a father to love his children?

I asked my church to give their thoughts on their own dads. I cloaked it in the phrase, “My dad rocks because...” And in the responses, I came up with five aspects of fatherly love.

Fatherly love is sacrificial. “My dad rocks because he puts his kids first!” “My dad rocks because he is always self-sacrificing for the family. He is always willing to serve us. He has a steady quiet spirit that I have grown to appreciate.”

Fatherly love is disciplinary. “My dad was a strict disciplinarian when I was growing up. He did what was best for the family, even if we didn't see it at the time.”

Fatherly love listens. “My father was my very best friend; I could talk to him about anything.”

Fatherly love is shown in actions. “Because my Daddy gives me hugs and kisses, tells me he loves me, picks me up from preschool and takes me for rides on the lawnmower.” One mother wrote, “My children's father rocks because he is very supportive of his children and he has the best hugs.”

Fatherly love is unconditional. “My dad never failed to love me even when I was wild and rebellious his love was constant.” “He was the most kind and compassionate man I have ever known.” “My Dad was there to listen, encourage and correct with unconditional love. He was my example; I always wanted to be like him.”

Our great example as fathers is, of course, the love our Heavenly Father shows to us. And in a story Jesus told, the father of the prodigal son exemplified God’s love, even to a wayward son.

The expression “just like mother’s love” carries a very wonderful meaning. And without her love what would childhood be? Yet a father who loves his children and is unashamed to do so can have just as great, if not greater impact on a child’s life.

So as we approach Father’s Day, perhaps we dads can do a bit of self-evaluation and ask ourselves about the quantity and the quality of our love for the children God has placed in our quivers as arrows. Sacrifice. Discipline. Listening. Actions, not just words. And without condition. Love your children.

Rick Lawrenson is the Lead Pastor of Nags Head Church
© 2008 Rick Lawrenson

Breathe deeply, Haley

Haley Palmer lost her battle to stay alive today.

How I hurt for her parents, family and friends.

Thanks for your prayers on their behalf.

Cystic Fibrosis, while a horrible disease, somehow works to fashion the most incredible people we'll ever meet.

Dance for joy Haley. I want you to teach me how one day.

Where's the reunion? (Not that I would remember you...)

I don't remember the actual date, but 35 years ago around this time in June I graduated from Mt. Vernon High School in Alexandria, VA. Our baccalaureate was held at National Cathedral and our graduation at Constitution Hall in DC. The class of '73 closed down the old school, and the next year they moved to a new location.

The old school is still being used, however. And in fact, has made the news recently. You might have heard or read the story. Our old principal, Melvin B. Landes (who retired with the school after 30 + years), and an ordained Brethren minister as I recall, would be, shall I say, unhappy.

He was old-school strict. But he was loved nonetheless. He died in 2004 at 96.

I'm 3 times older than I was then. Plus a year.

What a depressing thought!

A Miracle is Needed For Haley Palmer

Haley is a 12 year old with CF. Her situation is very critical right now in St. Louis Children's Hospital. Doctors are doing what they can to sustain her life, but short of a miracle they say she may only have days left.

You can read her story here. Please pray for Haley and her parents.