Ed and Edith out for Sunday Dinner

If you haven't met Ed and Edith yet, you might want to read my previous posts about them first.
Ed and Edith
More on Ed and Edith
Ed and Edith at the Franklin Graham Crusade
Ed and Edith are in The Present Future

On any given Sunday...
Bad news today. There was a missionary speaker from Outer Mongolia or somewhere and the clock in the back of the sanctuary meant nothing to him. Noon came and went. Finally at 12:07 the benediction was given. "Every time the pastor has someone else speak this happens. Next time there's a guest speaker let's just stay home. If they don't respect our time why do we even bother coming?"

After church every Sunday Ed and Edith are quick to make it out of the parking lot so they can beat the Sunday church crowd to their favorite restaurant. They hate the long lines, so if someone at church corners them in conversation (some might call that "fellowship") they get real fidgety. Church is over! It's 12:08! Let's get out of here!! They've even figured out that if they park by the side entrance they can escape faster and not have to talk to anyone.

Meanwhile first time guests file out without a greeting or an invitation to come back or (could you imagine?) a "Why don't you join us for lunch?" Ed and Edith are oblivious to anyone else.

At the restaurant it seems the other church in the neighborhood didn't have a missionary speaker today. And their pastor got them out "on time". So there they are, that other church getting the tables and service and food while Ed and Edith have to put their names on a waiting list. Their stomach's are growling. Then to make matters worse, who comes in the door but the pastor and the missionary! "It's their fault we're waiting! I'm not happy with either of them right now, so I hope they don't see us and want to talk."

"Ed and Edith. Your table is ready." Saved by the bell. Now, Ed and Edith's table has four chairs and there are just two of them. Maybe they'll ask another couple from their church to join them? Or how about the pastor and the missionary? Wouldn't they like to hear about reaching the Outer Mongolians? But Ed and Edith are oblivious to anyone else.

After ordering their beverages the waitress (who is covering for another table or two because someone didn't show up for work) is a bit slow bringing them out and instead of a diet Coke she brings Edith a sweet tea. "Honey. That's NOT what I asked for. And the service here today is slower than usual."

In a hurry, the tea is exchanged for a diet Coke. Soon their meals are brought out and without a kind word or thanks to the waitress they have their lunch. In their conversation a comment is made about how people who work in restaurants on Sundays never go to church and must be essentially godless.

The check is brought to the table with a smile and a "have a nice day" from the young lady. But Edith is too busy examining the charges to respond. A tip, if you can call it that, is left on the table. It comes to 10% of the meals total ("That's generous considering how long we had to wait and that she got my drink wrong") and is tucked inside a Gospel tract that looks like a five dollar bill. That's to help with the "godless" part.

I eat out often, and in my conversations with restaurant wait staff I've discovered that "church people" on Sundays come across as rude, demanding and cheap.

How is it that we can "worship God" between 11 and 12 and then treat those He loves like they don't exist between 12 and 2? Can we really be that oblivious to anyone else?

Sunday Flashback

"What if I Had It All Together?" Today I talked about the self-control that comes with maturing spiritually in Christ. Just as Jesus was under control when he exhibited anger in turning over the money changers' tables in the Temple and when he refused to answer the false accusations against him prior to His crucifixion we're to be under control.

I used the illustration of a three stranded cord being tough to break from Ecclesiastes 4:12. "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken". The 3 "strands for self-control are:

1. Giving God control of your life.

2. Taking personal responsibility for your life.

3. Being accountable to another believer.

As usual the MP 13 Band did an awesome job. That new song "Glorious One" is great. When as many as 50% of the congregation is made up of guests it can be a challenge getting them to cut loose and sing. But usually our guests jump right in and the worship comes together like it did today.

Next Sunday three of our other pastors (Tom, Burnie and Steve) are tag-teaming a message on being free from life's tyrants. I'm looking forward to it!

Gwyneth and her parents were dedicated today. Thanks to Steve for leading that part of the gathering so I could join the family. She did well at first but then decided she needed to be heard.

Although I don't get to peek in on them and see what's happening often, our volunteers in our nursery and children's ministry play a huge part in a great Sunday at NHC. They're the best!

Next weekend connects with July 4 and typically fills the place up. Looking forward to it!

The news just got worse

An update on the last post...

The second child passed away this morning. Because I'm the only minister the family has had any contact with, I've been asked to conduct the funeral for both girls this coming Wednesday.

Tomorrow evening I'll be participating in a Critical Incident Stress Management debriefing for any of the public safety personnel who were involved yesterday. CISM is a wonderful tool to help those who are confronted with handling criticial incidents while at the same time they're doing their job. I'm actually on the CISM team, but tomorrow evening I'll be among those being debriefed.

If you're a praying person, please remember the family and the first responders (firefighters, EMS, law enforcement) and the hospital staff in the ER who are hurting with this tragedy. Pray also that I'll be able to use this opportunity to point someone to Christ.

I have no answers to the "why?" questions, only hope.

...but somebody's gotta do it.

I was hanging out this afternoon with the guys on C shift at Station 21. Giving back to my community for me comes in the shape of being a chaplain with our fire department.

When my department's tones were sounded on my pager the words that followed weren't good. "Chaplain 16 [that's me] please call Station 16." The phone call said that I was needed at the hospital.

Two little girls - sisters - somehow got into an abandoned car in their neighborhood and couldn't get out. When their mother realized they were gone a search began to find them.

I arrived at the hospital in time to hear the attending physician explain to the mother that the younger sister (18 months) was unresponsive and she was gone. I went with her into the room and watched as they discontinued the CPR and made the pronouncement. Then I stayed with her for quite a while as she held the lifeless body of her baby. All the while, in the very next room her other daughter (not yet 3) was being intubated and being prepared for transport to CHKD in Norfolk. Later I walked the father in to say goodbye to his daughter.

The story is on tonight's news.

As much as I grieve for the parents, it's the emergency responders and hospital staff I'm most concerned about. I've already recieved a call at home tonight from a paramedic who worked the call and was in tears. The cops who met me at the emergency room were sullen. The ER staff was obviously struggling to do their jobs. The firefighters who frantically searched the neighborhood and sound waters have to be devastated. These kinds of calls take their toll, even on the most experienced. Especially when children are involved.

Its' a tough job.

Church Sign "Evangelism"

I'm tagging off of Nathan's worship blog post.

The subject has been a peeve of mine for a long time. Fortunately I haven't been part of a church that felt compelled to put out "cute" sayings on their sign as a way of attracting the community into their doors.

But I've read some doozies. You probably have, too. Here are a couple of my "favorites" from local churches.

"Sinners welcome here". (I'll bet the cars were lined up to get in on Sunday morning...)

"Keep Christ in Christmas....Xmas Eve Service 7PM" (I'm not kidding.)

How about you? Got a real church sign zinger that made you just shake your head?

Happy Anniversary Nathan and Tricia!

A most amazing wedding (who didn't cry?) followed by four incomparable years.

Here's to many more!

Love,

Dad

(The guy in the background saying "Mawage is what bwings us togethuh")

Leadership Issues - Church Hop #4

I serve a church that is affiliated with a denomination notorious for both church hopping and short-term pastorates. If a scientific study were conducted, my hunch is that there is a correlation between the two. IE, churches that are constantly in the "pastor search" mode are also churches where the back door opens just as frequently as the front.

Leadership in the church is no less crucial its health and growth than it is in any institution. Everything rises and falls on leadership. That may sound very "secular", but check out the many instances in the Bible of how leaders impacted their nations, churches and families both in positive and negative ways.

For reasons perhaps only He knows, God's design is for there to be human leadership in those institutions.

Yet here are some realities in the church:

1. Not everyone in a leadership position is either gifted or called to lead. I've met lots of square pegs in round holes. Just because someone has the title doesn't mean he can. And if he can't, that poses a genuine threat to the future of the church.
2. Some who are called and gifted but are in churches where they've been hog-tied. They want to lead. God's given them vision. But there's a refusal among the sheep (or the deacons) to follow a shepherd. Rural churches often are plagued by this. I've tried pastoring a church where there was a small control group who battled me. Those kind of churches are legion in my denomination.
3. Some leaders have no clue what it means to lead like a shepherd. Sheep are led from the front and follow the shepherd. They scatter when a shepherd tries to push them from the rear. They see themselves as the 4th person of the Trinity and never know what it means to love those they are called to serve. Those kind of pastors are common in many churches. Shepherds "serve" and are willing to give their lives for the sheep.
4. Other pastors see themselves as hired staff with a temporary position and their current church as a stepping stone to something bigger and better. So they really never bond with their congregation and always have their resumes out. With every pastor the church takes a step forward, and with his exit two steps back.
5. Some pastors are just plain lazy. Maybe they've got a comfy job and are satisfied with the status quo. Maybe they've got just a few years left until retirement, so they're short-timers mentally and spiritually. In any case, they need to move on if they're not going to lead.
6. Some have outlived their effectiveness. That's a snare for older pastors. Personal growth hasn't been a priority. They remember how it was in the old days and think nothing has changed. So the church stagnates while the culture moves on by.

So what to do when there is a real problem (as opposed to perceived) leadership stalemate or vacuum? Do you leave and find another flock? Maybe. But first I'd ask some questions.

1. Is this the historical pattern for this church? Is there a constant power struggle that never ends? Do we change pastors more often than what seems right? If so, why is that, and am I part of the problem or part of the solution? (Maybe that last one isn't such a good question because it's rarely answered objectively.) Fact: some churches are never going to change. Power struggles are ingrained in their congregational structure and DNA.
2. What's the vision the leadership has for the church? Where are we going? How are we going to accomplish our mission? (Note the use of the word "we", not "you".) Ask the pastor or elders or whoever leads. If you can't get a real answer guess what? You got your answer. Better yet, ask this question before you ever hook up with a church. It'll save a lot of heartache later.
3. Is there a real chance things are going to change and get better? If not, then you should consider making a quiet exit. But if there is a chance, then pray and serve and encourage the leaders. The last thing the church needs is for people to bail when God's about to make a difference. Revivals are a God thing, and you don't want to miss out on it. But if you're part of the problem, maybe revival won't come until you leave.

I realize that some of my comments and suggestions put some in a quandary. You're in a denomination where the hierarchy moves pastors around every few years. The facts, however, don't lie. The healthiest churches have long-term pastorates. The good news is that some denominations are catching on to that and changing their policies.

But for you in independent, non-denominational or autonomous churches (like Baptists) the same holds true. Yet I doubt the average length of stay for a Baptist pastor is 3 years. That tells me there needs to be some real introspection regarding our views of leadership within the leaders and the congregations.

Sunday Flashback

"What if I really knew God?". Today those who hadn't yet found what they were searching for were challenged to put their faith in Christ. One young lady who has been coming, invited by her sister, did just that. We talked a little after about her learning what it means to have Christ as her Savior. She's very excited about the new life she has in Christ and that she's found our church.

It always wows me when unchurched people come to our worship gatherings and express how blown away they are by what we do. Many say they never realized church could be like that, and that they are definitely coming back. Each week I meet someone new just like that. It's pretty cool.

In both gatherings we did parent/child dedications. That's always a great witness and opportunity to share about the priority of family. One more to do next Sunday!

The MP 13 band was full today, and the music was outstanding. They introduced us to "Glorious One". What a great song! The message was followed up with a secular song that said, "He is everything you want; He is everything you need", pointing us all, whether we're Christ-followers or seekers to realize that Jesus is the answer. Then we sang "I Stand Amazed" as our benediction song and the place was full of song!

This afternoon Burnie taught a new class for us. "Developing My Leadership" is the first of our fledgling "Grad School" that follows up the five classes of NHCU. Especially great today was the leadership applications from the story of Moses and the twelve spies. Good stuff Burnie! Investing in leaders is something we value.

It's hard to believe that next Sunday starts the week that includes July 4. Wow. Summer is flying by.

The Girls of Gloucester

The high school at Gloucester, MA has an unusually high number of students who are pregnant. This story played on the news today.

What caught my attention is how all the talk is about the problem being the school's. Students are "making a pact" to have babies. They're supposedly sleeping with whomever just to have babies. What's the school going to do about it? What?

Hey. Since when did the school become their parents? Who gave the schools the authority to control the moral choices of the community's youth? Read the article and you'll notice that the responsibility of the girls' parents is virtually a non-issue. In defense of the school system, I think the news people are asking questions of the wrong people.

As Earl Pitts would say, "Wake Up America!". Your children belong to you, not to the schools.

Haley Palmer's Wish

Even though Haley died last week, her wish to promote Cystic Fibrosis awareness lives on. Here's a news video about her from KTUL in Tulsa.

Her mom also has posted a great follow up to yesterday's celebration.