In the past couple of weeks I've had the sad duty to minister to folks who have lost loved ones. All were strangers to me. Three of those who died were minor children; one a fairly healthy adult. A fifth was an older adult, so I excluded him.
From what? From asking the family (parents/spouse/next of kin) if they would consider organ donation.
Let me be real honest here. Asking parents and spouses to allow their children's/loved one's organs to be harvested in the minutes after they've been told of the death is not an easy thing to do. I do not enjoy asking. But I do it because I am passionate about organ donation. I even explain that my daughter-in-law is alive today because someone gave lungs to her.
But why should I have to ask at that terrible time? Better, why haven't those I've spoken with already made the decision to give their organs? Or even to not give them? It is amazing to me that so many people have not considered organ donation for themselves or (God forbid) for their children should they die. But then, most people put the thought of death as far back in the recesses of their minds as they're able and never believe it will come.
So far I'm 0 for 4. And while I'm outwardly gracious certainly non-confrontational when told, "No, we don't want to do that", I'm inwardly frustrated that they don't get it. When you're at the height of grief is not the time to decide.
Please consider organ donation. And either make a yes or no decision now while you're alive and make that decision known to your next of kin. Fill out the paperwork if you decide "yes". Get it on your driver's license. And if you're the parent of a minor child, please consider what you will do should your child's life come to an end. Think about it. Now. Trust me, you don't want to (and won't be able to) think about it in the ER.
I don't mean to be morbid here, but this is reality. People die every day, even young people. And some people who are dying could be saved every day if the organs were available.
There's a link on the right side of this page about organ donation. I hope that if you haven't already decided to give that you'll visit the site and learn why and how.
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18 comments:
I so agree! It's on my driver's license and my mom, a registered nurse, knows my wishes. What a blessing to be able to give so generously even after you are gone!
I also agree, and I have always wanted to be an organ donor. When I got married though, my husband said he wouldn't stand for it. He is a Christian man and this has been the source of many arguments for us.
I signed up to be an organ donor this year after reading Tricia's story, and I told my husband that I had. We had the biggest argument ever. He said he felt betrayed.
We talked finally about why he was so set against me being an organ donor and he said that he couldn't stand the thought of me dying or of anyone cutting me up.
I told him about how the online registry in our state lets you specify what you do or do not want done for different donations and he still wasn't satisfied.
The only way he was going to be happy was with me taking my name off the list. So I did.
Then he told me that he has been thinking about becoming an organ donor, but he doesn't want me to be. He is not normally a controlling guy. Totally sweet and giving and caring, but just selfish where I'm concerned. he knows my wishes, but if I was to put my name on the list without his permission he would see it as a betrayal. Which makes me sad because it's something I really want to do.
Reason #1: Selfishness.
And isn't that the major flaw in our human nature about everything?
Thanks Alyce.
Since our girl (3.5 yrs old) has CF, and in the first 6 months of life, we were looking at a liver tx (that passed and she still has her own liver), and a good friend of mine losing their 2 yr old daugther while waiting for a new liver...I'm all for donorating.
I am unsure if my child can give hers since she has CF...but if she could, than she will if need be. any future children we have will be likewise and I even told my husband since he flips so much about the issue (its a game...?), if you die, and your organs are needed (they are), youre giving them. Me, take them cause I dont need them anymore and good luck with them!
I would be SO ticked off at my family if they didn't donate anything and everything. (Which is why my drivers license has a heart on it - so they can't mess that up) And (ugh - to even WRITE this makes me shake) if anything were to ever happen to one of my girls, I would donate in a heartbeat. For 2 reasons. #1 - They don't need it anymore. They are in Heaven with Jesus and are perfectly whole and happy. #2 - The thought that in someway they would "continue on" in the body of another (yeah - I know - completely contradictory to #1 but....) and give someone a chance at sight, movement, LIFE!!! Gosh - how could I deny anyone that???
We are all willing to be organ donors. My kids are told about it before they are allowed to drive. My mother-in-law's organs couldn't be used due to health deterioration, so she had it set up that they would be donated to research so cures could be found. There are so many ways to help.
Just as frustrating to me are people who won't get registered in the bone marrow registry because they are afraid it will hurt to donate. It doesn't. There is just some mild discomfort afterwards. Why wouldn't somebody save a life just because their hip will be a little sore and might require some Tylenol? This isn't even a decision that has to be made in a grief environment. I will never get it. I don't even want to.
Your right Rick its Selfishness. Sadly people don't care to give anything now a days. Is about self not others who need help.
My Father inlaw was a donor. After years of heart issues and a massive aortic blowout. He died within minutes. He was there one minute gone the next. What was striking to me is that he died at bible study. He was a very giving man. With nothing on his license to say he would be a donor.When they asked us all of us had a resounding YES!
Simply because we all knew Dad and he was a giving kind man who cared for others around him.
Yes he died and it was a tough tough time for us. But the ridicule we took for doing it from some was sad. But thats people.
I never waiver on it was the right thing to do. Dads tissue saved three children in a burn center. His eyes helped some one see. And the list goes on and on.
Being a cancer patient one thats received blood products countless times . Where would I be with out the help of those who donate.
I to one day may need a donor transplant. But no match in the National Registary in just about eleven years not one. Luckily my one sister is a perfect match. But my stand is firmly why not give.*Please tell me why Not.*
So on the issue of Organ Donation. I totally agree. People need to wake up and understand its not hurting the person who is dead. But helping those of us who are living lead a better life.
The number one reason why not, from what people who have become organ donors from reading Tricia's story, is a belief in the myths (which stems from selfishness).
I don't think it's selfishness as much as an extraordinary sentimentality about the body - people don't really believe in resurrection any more, so they can't bear the thought of the body being cut up, even though they'd happily put their old clothes in the Sally Army bin!
I have been a registered donor for many years, as has my husband. After all, we'll have our new Resurrection bodies by then - they can do whatever they like with the old one!
I always ASSUMED that most people DID donate their organs. As I've become an adult (sigh...) I've learned otherwise. I have always had it on my license that I'm a donor... My husband, is a cancer patient so he's not eligible but his body is going to be "donated" to science.... well the cancerous part will be so that it might help one day.
Reason #2: Myths about organ donation.
Reason #3: Extraordinary sentimentality about the body.
I prefer to give human nature a bit of credit and say that fear is a bigger contributor to not being an organ donor than selfishness, but perhaps I am kidding myself.
It is extremely confronting to sit down and discuss these issues with people you love, particularly for people who have never had to face these issues before.
Then there is the fact that many people have the "that will never happen to me" or "we'll talk about that some other time" attitude...sigh.
I fail to see why anyone, ESPECIALLY CHRISTIANS, won't agree to organ donation. Turn your mind from the picture of your loved one's body being "cut." As several commenters have said, after death, the body is a shell, of no use whatsoever. Let it give life to another. I pray Tricia's story will convince a few more...it's a simple choice, people.
For many years my husband has said that he wanted to be an organ donor, and I told him that if I was able to follow his wishes I would, but he had to forgive me if I couldn't let him go when the time came.
I was only 22 when we married and I am not using my age as an excuse, but as a reference to how inexperienced I was. After a good long few years of marraige and 3 kids, along with reading of stories such as Tricia's and seeing what Nathan went through it made me realise that no matter what happens to my Husbands or my kids bodies after they have died it won't make me hurt any more of any less, but by letting their organs be used it can stop the hurt of another family from loosing their loved one.
So Im in, and I know now that I will have the strength to allow my loved ones to help others should they go, I do however pray I am never in the situation to, however it is the thought of not being able to live without my kids and husband that makes me realise that I agree to organ donation.
At Easter, my (rather large) extended family all participated in an "organ donation sign up fest" (pretty much, you didn't get to eat if you didn't sign up - LOL)! There were 5 minutes of seriousness, but no dissenters. We're all in the same "pact" now, and we feel great about it. Communication is so important before you're in crisis situations!
But keep asking... God is so working through you each time that you do.
I always casually said "sure, I'd donate" but a very close friend of mine has pulmonary hypertension and at 37 years old needed a double lung transplant. She received 2 healthy lungs and can continue to be a mom to her 5 and 3 year old boys all from the selflessness of another family. I will forever be grateful to them. I'll never be casual again. Take them all if you need them. I'm certainly not using them if I'm in heaven!
As a former procurement transplant coordinator, I had the amazing job of approaching families and asking if they would be willing to donate their loved ones organs. When I was in training, one of my co-workers put it perfectly when she approached a family-"Right now, this is the worst day and you can't see the light-you don't realize that it will get better. And right now, in the midst of all your pain, we're asking you to do the hardest thing-we're asking you to think beyond your pain and give. To give to another family. To give another person the chance to live." The family said yes. I now work on the other side of transplant as a kidney and pancreas transplant coordinator and get to see the amazing outcomes that transplant brings. Organ donation is something that I'm passionate about and I can't imagine a better gift that anyone could give. The families that choose to look beyond their pain are my heroes. I heard so many different reasons from families that I approached that declined donation and the #1 reason seemed to deal with the misconception that so many people have of organ donation. I blame a lot of that on our media (Greys Anatomy...) and hope we can one day get past the misconceptions and that everyone can see what an amazing gift donation is.
You never know till it hits close to home as it has with a family we know. The family had been waiting for an organ for their 10 year old daughter and none were available. She lost her battle for life and now her parents are planning a funeral instead of her future.
My fear of the what if’s are no longer valid and I am ashamed of myself for holding back by not giving the gift of life. I will become a donor and will encourage everyone to look at the reasons of why they hesitate and remember that death is the end result of those waiting on a list and never getting the organ needed. Witnessing the pain for the person waiting and the grief myself has forever changed my view organ donation and have registered as a donor.
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