Saturday, June 14, 2008

Love your kids (it isn't just a Mom thing)

(This originally appeared this week in the Outer Banks Sentinel.)

What seems like a lifetime ago I was working on the construction of the Nags Head Inn. Somehow the conversation came up about fathers loving their children. I was at the time a young father with three small children at home, so I listened in on the talk among the men. What I heard one man say totally took me by surprise. He was an “older” man, probably in his 50’s, and said he didn’t love his children. He liked them, but didn’t love them. In fact, the idea of a father loving his children seemed like a new concept to him.

As I tried to figure out why any father would deny loving his children, it occurred to me that perhaps this fellow’s definition of “love” was rather short-sighted. My guess was that “love” in his understanding was something reserved for a man and a woman, not for a man and his children.

How sad! I’ll bet he loved his children. He just didn’t know that’s what love meant. But what does it mean for a father to love his children?

I asked my church to give their thoughts on their own dads. I cloaked it in the phrase, “My dad rocks because...” And in the responses, I came up with five aspects of fatherly love.

Fatherly love is sacrificial. “My dad rocks because he puts his kids first!” “My dad rocks because he is always self-sacrificing for the family. He is always willing to serve us. He has a steady quiet spirit that I have grown to appreciate.”

Fatherly love is disciplinary. “My dad was a strict disciplinarian when I was growing up. He did what was best for the family, even if we didn't see it at the time.”

Fatherly love listens. “My father was my very best friend; I could talk to him about anything.”

Fatherly love is shown in actions. “Because my Daddy gives me hugs and kisses, tells me he loves me, picks me up from preschool and takes me for rides on the lawnmower.” One mother wrote, “My children's father rocks because he is very supportive of his children and he has the best hugs.”

Fatherly love is unconditional. “My dad never failed to love me even when I was wild and rebellious his love was constant.” “He was the most kind and compassionate man I have ever known.” “My Dad was there to listen, encourage and correct with unconditional love. He was my example; I always wanted to be like him.”

Our great example as fathers is, of course, the love our Heavenly Father shows to us. And in a story Jesus told, the father of the prodigal son exemplified God’s love, even to a wayward son.

The expression “just like mother’s love” carries a very wonderful meaning. And without her love what would childhood be? Yet a father who loves his children and is unashamed to do so can have just as great, if not greater impact on a child’s life.

So as we approach Father’s Day, perhaps we dads can do a bit of self-evaluation and ask ourselves about the quantity and the quality of our love for the children God has placed in our quivers as arrows. Sacrifice. Discipline. Listening. Actions, not just words. And without condition. Love your children.

Rick Lawrenson is the Lead Pastor of Nags Head Church
© 2008 Rick Lawrenson

12 comments:

jamie said...

I'd like to add, children love your Dads. They won't always be here and oh how you miss them when they're gone. I'd give just about anything to talk to mine. Happy Father's Day to you Rick. Seems like you've got yourself some pretty special kids (judging by Nate's blog).
God Bless
Jamie in Texas

Christina said...

Thanks for sharing this! Pretty profound thoughts. My Dad rocks because he gave me advice growing up that he knew I would not use then but later I would.

Happy Father Day Rick!

~j~ said...

beautifully stated..
thanks for hijacking Nates blog..
it was an honor to wish him a Happy Fathers day and to do the same for you, so Happy Fathers day Rick, you are truly a blessed man indeed!
julia from s.b. calif

concernedSBCer said...

I have to be honest....I'm wishing I lived on the OBX to go to your church. The more I read your blog the more I wish you were my pastor!

Happy (Grand)Father's Day!

mary40 said...

HAPPY FATHER DAYS RICK

eau said...

Happy Father's Day-----reading/hearing about your kids shows how great you rock---you are all blessed-
Congrats on the day and enjoy-
p.s.- I wish I lived closer and went to your church too.......
Thanks to you and all your family for sharing your journey/lives/inspiration/messages on life and God's love, grace and glory.

Anji said...

Happy First Grampa Day

love and prayers

Anjix

danabrown said...

Happy Father's Day to you Grandpops/Hijacker. You rock!

terri c said...

Came over from Nate's to wish YOU a Happy Father's Day also.

raysoflight said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
raysoflight said...

Happy Father's Day Rick! You certainly have set a good example and it shows. Blessings to you and your family. You are all in our prayers.

Amy said...

Happy Father's Day!